Sunday, September 19, 2021
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Toxic Masculinity; a Rat Trap

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Diaw
An avid creative whose word plays so much that words say I play too much; a Ki'shon flow. Life is a journey and we're all full of stories.

‘A woman today, is the reaction. A reaction as a result of the men, she has experienced.’ iinfoport

The devil is in the details. Also, the truth is in that statement. Humanity is quite a mystery. We are in the most connected era of history yet we are so disconnected, and it is sad when you look at how we are going about our relationships and connections in this life all because of the narratives we have chosen to believe and not question. For a generation that rebels against the status quo and is recreating everything that we used to know, it looks like we don’t ask the right questions and we’re not ready to have the necessary conversations. Therefore, the question, what is the reason why there is so much perversion of even the purest of human interactions and why does it look like a black hole we may not get out of any time soon?

image credit–unsplash

On the path of men, this is the reality; we have not had so many role models from the abode of our homes to the outside world especially when we have to deal with leadership, emotions, and women. A shortage of role models means we have not had many quality men who have exuded and preached the right virtues and values when it comes to the position that the man holds in this life, being in touch with emotions and healthily expressing them and how we should and must generally treat women. The ones who do talk about these things probably do not have as many people listening to them, the ones who have all eyes on them do not encourage the right things and now we have boys who are being raised by the television and social media. They are picking up myths like the concept of the ‘alpha male’ being a representation of their position in this life and hence the female is more or less a slave. That a man’s only emotional expressions must be rooted in anger or a display of violence and that other emotions are better suited for the background because when shown are a sign of weakness. Essentially? Toxic masculinity. Then these boys, possibly oblivious or just nonchalant about these things that they have exposed themselves to, approach women.

image credit–gettyimages

Women are naturally inclined toward men. That is how the world works and that is how we are all here. The problem is that in gravitating towards these men and not recognizing that these are not the optimum build-up of men and also due to emotions tend to stick around and get used to all that. Now there is violence, there are attacks on women, and we are not denying that. However, what we are talking about are things that can be controlled and you can limit if not control your interactions with this species. Because the continuous exposure of you to these species and their twisted nature would produce an effect of familiarity and an installment, which sticks with you for life, suggesting subconsciously that every person on this planet is like what you were exposed to.

Do you see the cycle we are now caught in? A cycle where the boys are not men but are the exposure women receive, leaving the women walking the world with that definition of a man in their minds. To whom do we blame? The generation that raised us probably had similar issues and they have fought the battle the best they could. Our generation has more absent fathers and sons are being raised under the weight of single mothers who are a balancing act of work, keeping the home together and looking out for family and their kids.

image credit–gettyimages

What do we do? Well, we educate. We and this generation and then we lead by example. Do not make babies until you are ready to be a father; no one is ever ready for it but at least, marry – have a home ready to raise kids. Raise boys to respect their mothers by respecting their mothers, a woman and as the queens, they are. Because if a boy respects his mother in these dimensions, he is well on his way to respecting any girl he comes across. Teach them to be in touch with their emotions and most importantly that they are born to lead but leadership means to serve all. Also, girls, let us go back to purity and the virtues that made women, godly.

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